


Scream If You Want To

by franki_stein



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, big on the comfort, someone shot me on sight for how soft this is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:47:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27247516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/franki_stein/pseuds/franki_stein
Summary: Coming down from an intense show, Frank and Gerard remind each other to just, breathe.
Relationships: Frank Iero/Gerard Way
Comments: 2
Kudos: 26





	Scream If You Want To

**Author's Note:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CX6GBLBR0R8 <\- the video this was based on. basically i watched this performance for like an hour on repeat and then had a bad day so i wrote this to cope. ;_;

“Hmph”

Gerard made a noise as Frank collided with him against the wall. 

Immediately after they had handed off their shit to techs and got behind the stage Frank collapsed into Gerard’s body, pressing his nose and forehead onto Gerard’s solid shoulder. Both of them panting and disgusting from sweat. Gerard sort of wrapped his arms around Frank's middle loosely, leaning back into the shorter man while keeping his back against the wall.

There was buzz happening all around them, people moving, lights coming up, yelling from a crowd.

But Frank just stood against Gerard, trying to keep steady. He listened to the beating of Gerard’s heart and his intake of breath. It was all he could hear. He could feel his own drips of sweat coming off his hair and the beginnings of an itch where his clothes were sticking to him.

His breathing was still hard to get normal, his legs felt like at any moment they were going to decide to stop keeping him upright, his arms sore and jelly-like. He kept them by his side and his head turned into Gerard. 

Ray, just as sweaty and worn out, walked past them, asking “you guys good?” in a knowing tone. 

Gerard didn’t move, still breathing hard, just rubbed his soaking hair on Frank’s shoulder. Frank breathed out,

“All good.” He said as loud as he could wrapped up in Gerard. 

Gerard’s arms sort of tightened around him and he leaned further into Frank’s shoulder, leaving a discrete kiss on the part of his neck where it met his shoulder.

This kiss was different than the one on stage, but not because it wasn’t for anybody else. Their kisses were always for each other, and sometimes they were for others. But only really because no one else saw this one. This one was _just_ Frank’s. 

Next Mikey came up to them and started lazily pushing at them, “c’mon, move.”

He said gently, Gerard and Frank parted but still leaned against each other as they walked down the backstage hallway to a dressing room. 

  
  


Later, in a hotel room, Frank had showered and exited the bathroom to see Gerard laying on top of the comforter. Staring at the ceiling, his feet hanging off the bed with his shoes still on, and his arms spread out at his sides.

“Showers free.” Frank said, knowing Gerard probably wouldn’t do anything about it.

Gerard mumbled something but didn’t move until Frank was up in his space, peering down at him from where he stood next to the bed. 

“Get up dude, you stink.”

“Don’t wanna.” His voice was still scratchy from screaming all night, and it made Frank want to get him to talk more.

Frank almost rolled his eyes but then just started pulling on an arm.

“I’ll help you.”

Gerard opened one eye and stopped being completely dead weight.

“Promise?”

He leaned up just a little bit until Frank nodded, and then he let Frank direct him to the still warm and foggy bathroom. 

The shower wasn’t anything spectacular, although Frank might disagree, but it was nice to stand under the hot spray and let Frank rub soap on his back and shoulders.

“Sorry you had to get wet again.” Gerard said softly to the shower head, letting water spill into his mouth, he held it in his mouth for a second before spitting it at his feet. 

Frank chuckled, “are you kidding? Used to barely get one shower in a night, two is a miracle.”

Gerard sighed contently and looked up at the shower head, opening his mouth for more water to drop in and shutting his eyes to focus on where Frank’s hands were on his body. 

“Lean down man, your hairs next.” Gerard grunted but obeyed, leaning as much as he could onto Frank’s front. 

Frank staggered a little bit at the sudden weight shift, but caught himself on the wall of the shower. The spray still reached them both, and Frank started lathering shitty hotel shampoo into his friend’s head. 

Gerard was making soft sounds as Frank’s fingers rubbed against his scalp.

“Thanks Frankie.” He said, hoping Frank would hear him over the sounds of the water coming down on them. 

Frank just leaned in to kiss Gerard’s back, tasting the soap that he had lathered there earlier.

He moved his hands from Gerard’s head to his waist to turn him around, Gerard took a minute but then he got the idea and turned so that he was facing Frank, and the water was washing away the shampoo. 

“Hey.” Frank smiled up at Gerard, his hair sticking to his forehead and his smile crooked, there were water droplets on his stubble and Gerard wanted to kiss him again. 

Instead he just stared, Frank watched him as his eyes combed over his body. Frank tried to keep his smile from taking over his face but when Gerard tugged on his bottom lip with his teeth he couldn’t help himself. 

“Dumbass. Get over here.”

Gerard rolled his eyes but stepped into Frank’s space, Frank throwing his arms around his neck. Gerard curled around him for the second time that night. 

Their bodies were touching in so many places, slick and wet with the shower. They were both careful not to move too much, fear of slipping and cracking their heads open on the hard plastic of the tub at the front of their minds.

Frank felt exhausted, the energy from the show was amazing, everything felt right. Here, right now in the shower, so close to Gerard, felt perfect. There was something itching at him though, something he felt like he should talk to Gerard about. 

“I love being in the band too.” He said over the sounds of water hitting their skin.

Gerard hummed and nudged his head back and forth on Frank’s shoulder, like he had earlier in the dingy backstage hallway. 

“I know you do.” Gerard was whispering almost, his lips moving against Frank’s bare skin. Frank felt it so sharply, everywhere they touched was warm and tingly.

“More importantly,” Frank started, idly scratching his fingernails at Gerard’s neck and curling his short hair around.

“I love being in this band with you.”

Gerard huffed out a breath and suddenly the fog created by the heat of the shower felt a little more suffocating.

Frank wouldn’t let him when he tried to lean away, just clung to his shoulders and swallowed the lump in his throat. 

This was nothing new, none of it was. Their kisses and showers, the touching and talking.

Gerard however, always felt like he couldn’t say what he wanted to the right way, not like Frank could.

He kissed the skin at his lips, and instead of leaning away like the urge in his stomach pulled him to, he hugged Frank closer.

The shower was spraying lukewarm water now but neither man wanted to move.

Frank finally loosened up, stepping away from the water and Gerard to look up at his face. The shampoo had been washed away, the makeup around his eyes was now lighter and almost completely cleaned off.

He looked far away from Frank, like he was too in his head. Frank wanted him to be there with him, present in the moment they were sharing. He flicked some of the falling shower water at Gerard’s face. 

Gerard scrunched his nose and eyes, “the fuck man?”

Frank giggled and did it again, “pay attention to me fucker. I’m naked in a shower with you.”

Gerard kind of laughed and then pushed on Frank’s shoulders.

“Naked, in a _cold_ shower with me.”

Frank rolled his eyes and then pulled on the shower curtain, “then let’s get out and put one of those beds to use.”

Gerard smiled to himself as he watched Frank wrap up in a towel and then turned to turn off the water and follow Frank.

  
  


Once they were dry and at least decently clothed they both were on one of the beds, decidedly not the one Gerard had been laying in all sweaty earlier.

They were close, maybe not as close as they were in the shower but it still felt good. 

Frank was facing Gerard as they lay on their sides, knees touching and hands holding in front of them.

Frank had reached up to trace Gerard’s facial features. Everything was still in the hotel room, the air now cold with the air conditioning on. Frank had pulled the blankets up to their shoulders, and now he was grateful for some sort of cover.

The only thing Gerard could really focus on was Frank’s hands, and Frank’s eyes, and Frank’s breathing matching his own.

Gerard fluttered his eyes closed as Frank’s fingertips touched his eyebrows, and down his nose, then his cheek, and then Frank’s fingers reached his jaw. Where he held it still while he leaned in, touching his lips to Gerard’s. 

It was only for a second, even if Gerard followed him when he pulled back, Frank just smirked at him and held his face still.

“I gotta ask G.” 

Gerard didn’t like the sound of that, but whatever Frank was about to ask him, he knew it was important.

Gerard gave Frank a nod and pulled a hand out to grab at Frank’s waist to pull him closer, their legs were now tangled together and faces inches apart. 

Frank sighed and didn’t move the hand that was on Gerard’s face, “you really okay?”

His eyes were burning into Gerard’s, his smile a tight line of worry. Gerard’s heart sank a little bit, he just wanted to be close to Frank tonight, he just wanted to feel him. 

Talking about his well-being always made Gerard feel out of touch, like he wasn’t aware of himself. He always thought he was doing just fine, nothing too terribly off, but then someone would ask, would tell him, and then he’d feel like he missed something that he did or said. 

So he had to think about it, being okay. Funny thing was though, he could never find anything wrong with himself, his feelings, his head, when he was with Frank. 

Gerard looked back at Frank, squeezing and letting go of the skin at Frank’s hips, just to feel him, and nodded. Frank’s full smile came back,

“Good, I’m gonna kiss you again,”

Gerard held back his chuckle in return to feel Frank’s lips and his scruff rub against his cheeks and chin. His hands were still at his hips and Frank moved his arms so that they were on Gerard’s shoulders and Gerard rolled them until he was above Frank.

Their kiss didn’t stop and now Frank’s hands had moved to tangle in Gerard’s short hair and he pulled on it just enough to make Gerard moan.

Their tongues were in each other’s mouths and their bodies were slotted together perfectly so that Gerard’s knee was right against Frank’s crotch and if he moved his hips in just the right way-

Gerard wouldn’t let him though, holding him down by the hands on his hips. Frank whined into Gerard's mouth, which only prompted him to hold him tighter. 

The floating thought that he might leave bruises created a burning feeling of want in Frank and he pulled a little harder on Gerard’s hair.

“Ah” Gerard pulled away, noise high in pitch. 

When he looked down at Frank, his lips were shiny and plump under his facial hair. His eyes open and sparkling in the low light of the hotel room. Gerard moved his tight grip on Frank’s sides to pull at the man’s hands in his hair, he threaded their fingers together and pinned them above Frank’s head. 

“This okay?” He asked, voice broken up and his breath short. 

Frank started nodding, “yeah, just, please-“

Gerard leaned down to kiss him again, “alright, I got you.”

He kissed at Frank’s face, leaving little pecks wherever he felt like it. By the time he he kissed all across his nose, Frank was giggling, “Gerard-“

“Stop talking, you’ll ruin it.” Gerard smiled down at him.

They were all wide eyes and soft smiles at each other. The love in the room was tangible, the appreciation they had for one another written out in their expressions.

And then Gerard moved his kisses from Frank’s face to his neck, his arms still above them keeping Frank still. He kissed lightly and brought skin between his teeth. Nothing too harsh, and licked the spots he bit. 

Frank had started to whine again at the feeling of sharp teeth on his neck, the feeling of his arms outstretched and held down, all of it was too good. But he still wanted more. 

“Stop fucking around, just bite me already.”

Gerard didn’t answer but moved to the other side of Frank’s neck, dragging his teeth against the scruff. Then he started sucking on Frank’s neck, Frank moaned a little and Gerard could feel it everywhere.

The sound coming from lips to Gerard’s ear that was so close, could feel it in his chest where Frank’s breath hitched, and all the way down to his dick which he had been ignoring pretty well until now.

He sucked on Frank’s skin and added teeth and didn’t stop until he was sure Frank would have marks at least for the next few days.

Frank was panting and making the most beautiful noises and staying so still, so good for Gerard.

“Can you keep your arms there if I move mine?” Gerard said, wiping his mouth where spit had collected.

“I don’t know,” Frank said honestly, his eyes closed, Gerard took him in for a minute, sitting on his heels. He could feel Frank through their boxers. 

The headboard of the bed had vertical bars keeping up the cheap decorative metal for it, and Gerard had an idea. 

“Can you hold onto those?” He moved forward so he could place Frank’s hands on the bars, he probably wouldn’t get away with pulling on them much, they wobbled when he did.

Frank nodded, “should be fine.”

“Good. Don’t move them.” Gerard said sternly.

Frank smirked up at him. He loved it when Gerard got all commanding, there was a spike of excitement Frank could feel in his bones. It battled with the exhaustion but he could take it. He wanted nothing more than to give this to Gerard, to offer him something to control and know is safe.

Gerard went back to holding his sides and leant down to leave kisses and bruising bites all over Frank’s shoulders down to his torso and finally he got to the doves that were inked into his hips.

He kissed each of their details, from top of the wings to the points where the tattoo connected to the word ‘And’. Tracing the swirls and delicate looking calligraphy with his tongue. He dragged his fingernails down Frank’s sides and he squirmed and made a desperate noise at that. Still not letting go of the metal bars. Being so good.

Gerard now ran his fingers across the line of elastic where Frank’s underwear were.

Gerard could see Frank’s dick through them, he stuck his nose in the curly hair just below his tattoo and stilled his hands on the elastic band. He just breathed in Frank for a minute, the texture of the coarse hair there, still sort of damp. The smell of clean from the shower that could never wash away the underlying scent of something that was just Frank.

Gerard’s heart started beating really hard all of a sudden. His head swirled and his hands were frozen. He could hear Frank’s voice before he realized he was moving. 

“G? What’s up?” He had sat up and put his hands in Gerard’s hair.

Gerard shook his head and looked up to see Frank, worried and pushing Gerard’s hair from his face where he was still in his lap.

Gerard tried to explain, but the words disappeared under the harsh beating in his chest, the way his breathing seemed to skip.

“Okay, come here, Gerard just come up here.” Frank was pulling at his hands now, and Gerard made himself move so that he was back laying on top of Frank. 

Gerard tried to move his weight so Frank wouldn’t be squished but the other wouldn’t allow it, holding onto whatever part of Gerard was closest to his hands. The thin and ratted tee shirt he was wearing rucked up and their stomachs touched. 

He let himself cling to Frank, putting his head in the crook of his neck and wrapping his arms and legs around the shorter man. 

“Sorry, fuck.” Gerard breathed out sharply and one of Frank’s hands was in his hair. 

“S'okay man, everything’s good. Just talk to me.” He pushed, Frank didn’t know what was specifically on Gerard’s mind tonight, but he could tell it was something.

Most of the time after shows they wouldn’t even bother showering before fucking, they just had whatever euphoria left over and needed to get it out of their systems. Quick and hard and messy but still beautiful to each other. Backs of dressing rooms and deserted bathrooms being their friends at those times. 

However, sometimes one of them just needed something like this. Something to hold onto so that they don’t float away, grounding and solid. Checking up on each other and talking about what they needed.

Usually it was Frank though, needing someone to hold him still until he calmed down. Something pressing into his skin to remind him that he was in a body and not just some spirit hovering above a scene.

So he got it, he understood what Gerard needed then. And he kept running his fingers through Gerard’s short hair, and scratched gently at the skin on his back. 

His full weight on Frank felt nice, like they were keeping each other here, keeping each other grounded.

Gerard hummed, “tell you later?” he asked more than told.

Frank tugged on his hair, “‘Course G.”

Gerard breathed in deep, everything around him warm even with his still wet hair. His pulse felt more steady now, he counted his inhales and exhales, matched them to Frank’s.

Gerard didn’t know any better but Frank was counting his breaths too, the ‘1-2-3-4 in, 1-2-3-4 out’ a soothing beat in his head.

They didn’t speak, or move for quite awhile, just feeling each other’s bodies and heartbeats. Frank curling his fingers through Gerard’s hair, and reaching to stroke his back.

“Hey, hey look at me real quick.” Frank broke the silence by saying.

Gerard lifted himself up on his elbows to meet Frank’s eyes and lifted his eyebrows in question. 

“Yeah?” Frank felt Gerard’s breath on his face and smiled. He moved his hands so that Gerard’s face was in between them, lightly rubbing a thumb across his cheek.

“Love you.” He told Gerard, his smile reaching his ears and his eyes sparkling.

Gerard couldn’t help it when he smiled back, a crooked line of his mouth, he opened it and then shut it again.

He kissed Frank lightly, a small peck on soft lips surrounded by scruff. When he pulled back, Frank’s entire face looked lit up, he looked happy. 

“I love you too Frank.” He said in a low voice, leaning in to kiss him once more.

  
  


They spent the rest of the night being in each other’s space, kissing here and there, holding onto parts of the other’s body and whispering things that only they could hear, could understand.

When they finally fell asleep, Frank was on his side, and Gerard was curled around him. His arm wrapping around Frank’s middle and his nose in Frank’s hair. Frank had his fingers interlaced with Gerard’s, squeezing whenever Gerard would leave a small peck behind his ear.

In, 1-2-3-4, out, 2-3-4.

**Author's Note:**

> The working title for this was "littol kees" if u like that


End file.
